SHY GUYS

how to know if they like you?

These are tough to crack sometimes...
   He'll look at you, until you turn around, then boom, he's looking the other way.
   You may 'feel' like he's watching you - but he's hard to catch at it
   He may do something physical - like grab you in a play way, poke you, play with your hair...
(Remember when you were really young and the guy you liked punched you or tackled you?)
He may be working really hard to pay attention to you, but doesn't quite know how...

   He may ask a friend of yours about you - he'll say it's just for "friend of mine" that wants to know about you.
   He talks to everybody else - but when you're around he turns silent, or chokes up.
   You seem to accidentally bump into him a lot of different places.
   He may not say a word to you, but he shows up in the same line, at the same movie, etc.
   He'll give you a little smile from across the room, but if you get near, he won't look up.
   Basically - the BIG clue is that his behavior changes when you're around (compared to when he's around his buds or other girls).
   DEAD Giveaway - when you talk to him he turns red. 
(Bingo - you can pack that puppy up and take him home...) 

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top 10

Top Ten Tips - HOW to tell He's Flirting with YOU and/or Attracted to YOU

1. The Eyebrow Lift

When a guy first sees a girl he's attracted to, chances his eyebrows will rise and fall. Quickly. 

(You can slip the flip of an eyebrow back at him, if you're interested - it's a clear signal both ways.) 

2. Gaining Your Attention

Exaggerated movements or gestures usually mean that he's trying to stand out from the crowd. 

He may shift positions so that he is standing slightly apart from his friends or a group of people. 

3. Slight Parting of the Lips

His lips may automatically part for a second when your eyes first meet.

4. His Nostrils Open Slightly - Face Widens

As his eyebrows raise and nostrils flare slightly so with the parted lips, he has an open, friendly expression on his face.

5. He Shifts to the Classic Male Courship Stance

The macho stance (cowboy style) - he'll probably lock his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, point his fingers downwards, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart and tilt his head to one side. 

6. Touches His Own Face

He may rub his chin, brush his cheek with the back of his fingers or touch his ears.

(He may not realize this is a combination of nerves and unconscious preening behavior.) 

7. Strokes His Shirt Front, Smoothes his Jeans

More unconscious preening - smoothing a shirt sleeve, tie, shirt pocket.

(The equivalent of the female lip lick.)

8. Fiddles with His Hair

He may smooth or tussle his hair involuntarily and more often than you might realize - again preening for you...

9. Eyebrows Arc While Talking

He may, accidentally, exhibit a slightly surprised expression with slightly raised eyebrows - which means he is interested in you. 

(Forget the guy who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes - he thinks you're boring. You probably think he's boring so drop your eyebrows and more on.) 

10. Sock Adjustment

If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 per cent sign he's interested and trying to look his best. The big preening signal...

 

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for some one i know

Must Know Facts About Condoms

When used properly condoms offer good protection against pregnancy and some protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Condoms are not fool proof, they do fail, but they can help decrease your risks. Condoms must be used exactly as directed on the package. If you do not use condoms as directed their failure rate dramatically increases. Never use more than one condom at a time, one is all you need.
Only water based lubricants should be used with condoms, oil based lubricants can cause the condom to break. Some examples of oil based lubricants are; baby oil, cold cream, Vaseline, hand cream or any cooking oil.

Condoms should never be stored in your wallet or any other small and warm space. They should only be stored in a dry and cool place. Glow in the dark, colored or flavored condoms do not generally offer protection against pregnancy or STIs. Read the label to be sure.

You need to put on a new condom each time there is ejaculation. You must use condoms with oral and anal sex to protect against STIs even though pregnancy is not a concern.

Condoms do offer some decreased sensitivity for guys but they do not mean that there is no sensation at all. For some guys who have problems with premature ejaculation condoms can actually help.

You do not need a prescription for condoms and they can be bought almost anywhere. With very few exceptions condoms are one size fits all. There are not many guys who are too large or too small for the average condom. So stop pretending as if you have a extra large penis. Stop pretending as you don sense a thing when u use condom. Stop putting your GF's through all the troubles.

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Are you in love?

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

·         You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.

·         The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.

·         If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.

·         Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.

·         When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).

·         Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.

·         Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.

·         You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.

·         If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

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You Might Just Save a Life

Everyone feels blue at one time or another. A death in the family, a disappointment in your career, a romance gone awry--all can cause most people to feel down for a period of time. Grief and sadness are normal reactions to life's stressful events. After a time, however, most people will heal and return to a normal life.

Depression is more than the normal ups and downs of life that we all have. When sadness just won't go away and it begins to interfere with daily life we recognize this as a mood disorder called depression. 

Sometimes depression goes unrecognized because it may manifest itself in more ways than just a sad mood. A depressed person may feel any or all of the following emotions: anger, irritability, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, fatigue, numbness, confusion, worthlessness, or shame.

A depressed person may also feel physically ill, weak, or in some cases have hallucinations.

Depression can affect every aspect of your life: your physical health, your sleep, your eating habits, your job, and your relationships with friends and family. It affects your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

People with untreated depression may choose to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. They may also relieve their emotional pain by overeating, physically harming themselves (cutting, burning), being sexually promiscuous, or other self-destructive behaviors.

Depression may come on suddenly as result of a stressful event or it may grow slowly over months and years. It may have an apparent cause or it may not seem to have any rhyme or reason. Depressed people suffer from an imbalance in their brain chemistry that makes them especially prone to stress. What may seem a small setback to someone else may be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back for a person prone to depression.

It is very important for those who love a depressed person--as well as the depression person themselves--to understand that a depressed person suffers from a very real illness. A depressed person cannot just "snap out of it" or "cheer up". They are not weak, lazy, defective, or seeking attention. They are ill and need your help.

Like any other illness, depression is treatable. Although there is no "cure" for depression, it is very controllable. There are a wide variety of medications that are effective in treating depression. With medication, therapy, and time, a depressed person can get well and lead a happy and productive life. I'm living proof of that. When I say living, I mean that literally. Depression is also the number one cause of suicide. If you suspect that you or someone you love is depressed, take steps now to get treatment. You may just save a life.

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change your reputation

10 Things You Can Try

Changing your reputation may sound frivolous but there are people who have had a string of bad luck and need help getting other people to give them a second chance.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your reputation, as long as you know that there are no guarantees your new one will be any better. If you sacrifice good friends in your quest to reinvent yourself you may be a big loser in the end.
Make New Friends While Keeping Old Ones
When you get in with a new crowd you should never write off your old friends. Don't burn any bridges, don't turn on old pals to impress new ones, and never turn in to a nasty gossip hound. Never build up your own life by putting down other people.
Whatever changes you make to yourself in the name of a better social life, never let your quest turn you into something you are not.
Here are a few things you can try in order to change your reputation and build a new social life.
Join a Team
Find a sport you like and do it as much as possible. Join the team at school or find one in your community. You'll be part of a group with common interests and you'll get in to better shape.
Get a New Look
Change your hair style, hair color, or both. Find a new way of dressing, one that reflects the person you want to be. This doesn't have to be expensive. You can find really cool clothes in thrift shops or consignment stores. Having a cool look is about personal style not designer labels.
Smile
It sounds simple but too many people forget to smile. Make smiling a part of your normal social interaction, even with people you hardly know, and people will see you in a more positive light. It is hard not to smile back when somebody is beaming at you.
Get a Hobby
Like sports teams, hobbies can be great ways to meet like minded people. Find a hobby you genuinely enjoy and join a club or group for enthusiasts.
Exude Confidence
Even if you are jelly on the inside never let it show on the outside. Keep your head up at all times and never let people see you sweat.
Be Kind
Caring about others makes others care about you. Think about volunteering to help at a charity. You'll meet new people and do some good at the same time.
Don't Be Afraid to Conform
Conforming to the positive social norms of the group you want to be a part of is a good thing. Not all peer pressure is bad. If it is prosocial and doesn’t do harm it's probably safe to go with the crowd.
Get Serious About School
Change your study habits and strive for better grades even if you already get pretty good ones. By being a better student you will bolster your confidence and that will positively influence how others see you.
Don't Try to Hide Who You Were
Own up to any truths in your previous reputation. Don’t ever try to hide the truth. Tell people you have changed and that you want a chance to prove it. Then show people that the old you really is a thing of the past.
It isn't easy to change your reputation but it's not impossible either. It takes some work and a great amount of courage to reach out to new people and make new friends but it is worth the effort. Not everybody will like you or welcome you in to their group so try not to be discouraged. Be as friendly as you can to everybody you meet and your positive attitude and confidence will draw people to you.

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subconscious mind

The topic of the subconscious mind has become quite topical these days and is frequently the subject of discussions with the launch of several films which address topics such as goal setting, quantum physics, the secret law of attraction, how to reprogram the subconscious mind and how these all relate to the outcomes which we see in our lives.

As we take a look at our lives in the self development field we often look at life from the physical, spiritual, financial, vocational and relationship aspects and often consider does the law of attraction help you find your soul mate (in line with accessing the subconscious mind ) as this is something which affects us all as we have the need to love and to be loved. With that said how to reprogram the subconscious mind is a subject which we really should be familiar with but which is rarely addressed or taught as a part of goal setting or on a widespread basis.

Accessing the subconscious mind is necessary as we all are programmed according to how we grew up, this may be determined by the types of families we grew up in, our religious experiences and related activities. With the amount of information available to us now and the amount of research that is being carried out looking at various factors such as levels of the subconscious mind, how to reprogram the subconscious mind and as we mentioned before does the law of attraction help you find your soul mate ? We need to understand more about this critical topic as it is so essential to what will come about in our lives.

The secret law of attraction works in conjunction with accessing the subconscious mind as we know that things are attracted or repelled from one another depending on its rate of vibration. We are all familiar with the term frequency as it applies to our radios, the radio receiver must be tuned into a particular frequency if we want to pick up a particular radio station.

This is a good example to assist us to understand that we need to be accessing the subconscious mind as we will act, live and behave according to the the secret law of attraction as this is determine by how our subconscious mind is programmed. If you want to know how your subconscious mind is programmed just look at your habits, both good and bad.

It all starts with our thoughts and accessing the subconscious mind , our thoughts determine our actions and behaviours and it is these repetitive actions and behaviours which will develop into our habit patterns. Our habit patterns determine whether we are the type of person who constantly move towards our goals and run away from the pain of being in a particualr situation.

For example, when we consider accessing the subconscious mind and the question does the law of attraction help you find your soul mate we can look at how we deal with this. Do we work on becoming the ideal person for our desired soul mate, do we work on ourselves and become clear in writing about the type of person we want in our lives ? Becoming clear and sitting down and writing down a description of our soul mate will assist in accessing the subconscious mind and invoking the secret law of attraction and in turn who we meet and when we meet them.

Goal setting and an intense focus on what we want to come about in our lives is something which characterizes successful people who invoke levels of the subconsious mind and achieve the goals that they desire.

As you are reading this you must be in the small percentage of the population who wishes to constantly take their lives to the next level and achieve great things, accessing the subconscious mind is critical to get to grips with as you look to make constant progress. Indeed the secret law of attraction is open to us all and it is down to our dominant thought and our attitude and attention to accessing the subconscious mind.

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time management

Time is precious thing so make the best use of it. Mind Tools teaches you personal time management skills. This personal time management guide and the accompanying newsletter are dedicated to building a stronger foundation for your success. One skill at a time. These are the simple, practical techniques that have helped the leading people in business, sport and public service reach the pinnacles of their careers. There are only 24 hours in your day, just the same as everybody else's. So how do you end up frustrated, angry, behind in your work, and dead on your feet? 

Maybe because you don't know how to use those 24 hours to your advantage. If you use these skills well, then you will be able to function exceptionally well, even under intense pressure. Developing time management skills is a journey that may begin with this Guide, but needs practice and other guidance along the way. Your main source of problems or your major breakthrough may still be hiding in your blind spot. What you really manage is your activity during time, and defining outcomes and physical actions required is the core process required to manage what you do.

Tips for time management
set priorities and manage your time to meet deadlines 
Handle people and projects that waste your time 
Action Plans and Prioritized - To Do Lists help you focus on the most important short term activities.
Prioritize assignments - When studying, get in the habit of beginning with the most difficult subject or task.
Make Sure the Surroundings are Conducive to Studying: This will allow you to reduce distractions which can "waste time." If there are times in the residence halls or your apartment when you know there will be noise and commotion, use that time for mindless tasks. 
Time management provides you with the opportunity to create a schedule that works for you, not for others. This personal attention gives you the flexibility to include the things that are most important to you. 
If using your time wisely is a problem for you, you probably don't have a very good idea of where it all goes. It just seems to go! A good place to start, then, is to keep track of how you use your time. Get a Weekly schedule (available in the Learning Skills corner of the Counseling and Testing Center's Career Library) and faithfully keep track of how you use your waking hours for one week. The results will probably surprise you. 
Successful leaders in almost every field organize each day according to the priority assigned to the activities to be accomplished. Make sufficient copies of the Daily Activity Guide to insure a two-week supply, and use the form as an aid in planning each day's work. 
The objective is to change your behaviors over time to achieve whatever general goal you've set for yourself, such as increasing your productivity or decreasing your stress. So you need to not only set your specific goals, but track them over time to see whether or not you're accomplishing them. 
Put things that are most important at the top and do them first. If it's easier, use a planner to track all of your tasks. And don't forget to reward yourself for your accomplishments. 
Visualize your long term picture of success and put it in writing. Review your goal frequently. Your goal should be specific, measurable, achievable and compatible with where you are now. There should be an end date as well. Steven Covey calls this "Begin with the end in mind." 
Planning your day can help you feel more in control of you life. Write a to-do list, putting the most important tasks at the top. Keep a schedule of your daily activities to minimize conflicts and last-minute rushes.

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depression and stress

Read some where :

I have suffered with both depression and stress in my life thus far. They both seemed to go hand in hand for me personally. Fortunately I have now learned how to handle these issues and am now able to live a happy and fulfilled life.

So what did I do to reduce and eventually eradicate the stress and depression? As I entered into my twenties I decided that I needed to change the way that I was living my life, I certainly could not continue to live in the way that I had been.

The causes of my anxieties were mainly due to the fact that I had a stutter. I stressed a great deal about this speech impediment and worried about the way in which other people thought of me. Stuttering impacted on my life in a big way and made life a lot harder from what it would have been had I been fluent.

I made the mistake of becoming envious and jealous of other people, people who were able to speak fluently. I would then start to feel depressed about things and about the fact that I was one of the unfortunate people who had a stutter.

At the age of twenty-two I started to read literature about stuttering, phobias, anxiety, stress and depression. I also attempted to overcome my own stutter.

I realised that I needed to start thinking in a more positive way, I needed to worry less about what other people thought of me, I needed to work very hard to achieve my goals and I needed to start appreciating what I had in life, rather than what I did not have.

This new attitude to life was very difficult to pull off as I had been a very negative person in the past. I was however determined to succeed and after around a year I had managed to overcome the stutter as well as my issues to do with stress and depression.

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dating advice

quoted from some site : Anyone who has had a nagging mother, an excessively effusive friend, or a smothering steady knows: advice really follows the rules of classical economics – the more that you receive, the less value that it has. Nonetheless, when relationships go foul, people almost instantly do everything but look into their own souls to figure out what the solution is to their problems. You can get advice on dating from almost anywhere. You probably have friends in your life who thinks they specialize in love and romance, sort of self-styled Casanovas who will be more than delighted to volunteer their advice on dating. Besides that, there are internet columns, magazine columns, radio shows, and television programs which emit tens of millions of words and make tens of millions of dollars giving relationship advice to strangers with no reason to trust them but desperation.

The fact is, if you need advice on dating, you had better have a trustworthy and down to earth friend to get it from. There is just no alternative to this. How can you weed through all of the sludge, all of the worthless advice on dating, to find the few nuggets of gold. And even if you do find them, what are the chances that they will apply to you if they were written for a stranger in the first place? But, if you do insist on getting advice on dating, be sure to follow some common sense. Do not trust the mainstream columns. They are popular because of their entertainment, not because of the value of their advice. If they offered the kind of nuanced advice on relationships that is really valuable, they would not have the sensationalist feel that really sells.

Good relationship advice does not come from mass media entertainers, but from qualified professionals. If you are looking for advice on dating, for God's sake, go to a qualified professional. A Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or Social Worker is trained to help people to sort out all of the aspects of their life, from childhood to grave. They are the only people who are trained to give you advice on dating that is really worth anything. However, just having a degree and some training does not guarantee that you can give dating advice that is worth anything. Above all, like everything else in this life, it comes down to simply learning to trust yourself and your own instincts.

When looking for dating advice, you have many places to turn. The problem with getting dating advice is that you never know if you are getting good advice. Your mom may actually have some good tips for you, but is she offering helpful advice, or is she trying to get you hooked up fast because she wants grandchildren? To be fair, most people won’t turn to their mothers for dating advice. They often turn to friends who have been successful in finding happiness. This isn’t always a good idea, however, because what works for your friends may not always work for you.

Many have turned to online dating in hopes of meeting someone special. This type of dating had a bad reputation in the past, but has become more legitimate and socially acceptable. It used to be that online dating guaranteed you met up with your worst nightmare. Today, there are many attractive and sane people using online dating to meet their mates. Many of these online dating sites now also offer dating advice. If you choose a good site to sign up with, you can be assured the dating advice they offer will be top notch. You should take the advice with a grain of salt, and use what makes sense for you and your lifestyle.

Besides online dating sites, there are many other places on the Internet where you can find good dating advice. There are websites devoted to helping you find love, and many of these offer great dating advice. A search online will bring up tons of this type of site. Also remember that dating advice is not one size fits all. If you live in an urban area, advice meant to help you find love at the grocery store might not work for you, but then again, it might. You have to take the dating advice you find and suit it to your life, and you may find you don’t need help anymore. It may start to come naturally to you.

If you are newly divorced and looking for dating advice, you will want to look for sites dedicated to helping you catch up on the changes in dating since you were last on the market. If you have friends who have divorced and have successfully reentered the dating scene, they may be the very best source of dating advice for you. Whether you choose online dating sites for advice, or if you turn to family and friends, remember that the very best dating advice is to always be yourself. Have fun, be open, and you may very soon find people are turning to you for dating advice.

 

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