random stuff

After a long boring day i decided to surf some of the "spiritual" stuff . Was just reading some random stuff about different religions, until I stumbled upon some lectures of a Indian monk given in 1893 in Chicago, what they claim to have been a world religion conference. It was quite impressive, indeed. I shall quote few of what I read and comment. Tolerate me. I’m a bit too bored. :)

The sun goes down, its crimson rays 
        Light up the dying day; 
A startled glance I throw behind 
        And count my triumph shame; 
                No one but me to blame.

Each day my life I make or mar,
        Each deed begets its kind, 
Good good, bad bad, the tide once set 
        No one can stop or stem; 
                No one but me to blame.

I am my own embodied past; 
        Therein the plan was made; 
The will, the thought, to that conform, 
        To that the outer frame; 
                No one but me to blame.

Love comes reflected back as love, 
        Hate breeds more fierce hate, 
They mete their measures, lay on me 
        Through life and death their claim; 
                No one but me to blame.

I cast off fear and vain remorse, 
        I feel my Karma's sway 
I face the ghosts my deeds have raised — 
        Joy, sorrow, censure, fame; 
                No one but me to blame.

Good, bad, love, hate, and pleasure, pain 
        Forever linked go, 
I dream of pleasure without pain, 
        It never, never came; 
                No one but me to blame.

I give up hate, I give up love, 
        My thirst for life is gone; 
Eternal death is what I want, 
        Nirvanam goes life's flame; 
                No one is left to blame.

One only man, one only God, one ever perfect soul, 
One only sage who ever scorned the dark and dubious ways, 
One only man who dared think and dared show the goal — That death is curse, and so is life, and best when stops to be.

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emotions

In life we are taught a great many things, but for some reason we do not learn much about emotions! For most of us our emotions are something of a mystery. We know that we have them but have little idea where they come from or how we can experience them more positively.

A useful model developed, by psychologist Dr C. Spezzano, allows us to become more self-aware and to better understand our emotions. At any point in life, our emotions will be experienced from any of six different perspectives.

Denial > Resistance > Pain > Guilt > Fear > Love

Denial - Many of our fears and insecurities are hidden beneath the surface of our conscious minds and we can therefore be completely unaware of them and how they affect our lives. We are often in denial of these insecurities - an unconscious strategy designed to avoid us having to face the emotional pain that we believe might overwhelm us if we were to unearth our hidden fears. We hide them away for protection and then try to get on with life. Unfortunately, these insecurities have a nasty habit of reappearing in our lives as emotional trauma, relationship difficulties and even health problems.

Resistance - Life will through all sorts of challenges at us and these will raise the emotional temperature. In a struggle to keep our insecurities at bay and avoid feeling our negative emotions we will tend to resist anybody or anything in life that might trigger these unpleasant sensations. This normally involves some form of compensatory behavior or distraction from anything that could trigger our pain. Trying to be very successful in education or work to gain approval, or trying to be a really 'nice' person would be typical examples of compensations, but there are many, many more.

Pain - Sooner or later, usually due to traumatic events in our life, the resistance is broken and we begin to feel emotional pain. Our reaction is to either bury it again through more resistance and denial or hand the pain to somebody else - we tend to blame other people for our negative emotions. This is what happens in bad behavior, arguments and rows as we judge and project our pain outwards into the world.

Guilt - Under our tendency to blame other people for our problems is a usually unconsciously held belief that, in fact, we are to blame. This guilt is based around our low self esteem and unworthiness that we take on at a very early age and comes out of a belief that we have let people down (often our parents) and hurt people in some way. Self-blame and guilt are always mistakes and much of our work focuses on letting go of these damaging emotions. More information on Guilt & Low Self Esteem

Fear - All these negative emotions are actually hiding our deeply buried fears. There will be many different fears that we are unwilling to deal with, but ultimately these will boil down to our fears about being abandoned, rejected and unloved. As we gain confidence and greater emotional awareness we are able to feel, understand and let go of these fears.

Love - As we face and heal our fears, rather than suppressing or denying them, we discover that they hide our natural state - that of love, spirit and pure positive energy. As we strip away the pain, guilt and fear we are left with the beauty of our essence - full of creativity, abundance and joy.

We usually experience these emotional responses sequentially. They appear as layers in our reaction to people and events in our lives. Our negative emotions can be understood as our defense mechanism to avoid feeling pain, guilt and fear, that usually originates in our childhood. If we want to gain more emotional awareness and maturity we need to work down through our emotional layers and heal or our insecurities and fears. By understanding the layered nature of emotions we begin to understand why we have certain thoughts and feelings and also understand the people around us better. Ultimately we can let go of all the negative emotions and bring more love into our lives and improve our relationships and romantic experiences.

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How to be a good mate

Like any relationship you need to put effort in to keep a friendship going. Follow TheSite's ten top tips to keeping your mates and you'll never be lonely again:

Like yourself: How can others be expected to like you if you don't like yourself? It's no fun hanging out with miserable sods. Repeat the mantra - bah forget it.

Choose well: Don't overstretch yourself, while it's great to have loads of people you know and like, it's better to have a select few that you spend more time with.

Make time for each other: Don't abandon your mates at the first sign of lust, they're the ones you'll run to if it all goes wrong, and if you've vanished off the planet for a few months previous to this they may not want to pick up the pieces. If you are on the receiving end of this, tell your mate directly, as subtle hints tend not to work.

Treat them as you wish to be treated: Obvious? You'd think so, but most people fail on this one.

Make them feel wanted: Just like with lovers, where you may give surprise gifts, special dates and candle-lit meals, making your friend feel special can help make your bond stronger...and you may get gifts in return!

Speak: It is better to bring up problems before you get to the point of a massive row, but either way make sure you do discuss them rationally and apologise for being an idiot if necessary. Then let it lie and move on.

Listen: This is a two-way thing, don't expect them to continually help you out with your dilemmas and then have no interest in helping with theirs.

Trust and loyalty: These are essential to close friendships. You don't have to share everything, but if you do, make sure you don't blab to everyone else. How would you feel if they did the same?

Support them: If you want them to 'be there for you' you'll have to be there too.

Admit when it's over: If you bore each other and it's a chore to spend time together, then call it a day

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some songs

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meaning of life

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