credits : ray
Some may be read b4...
SMART ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS:
>
> BOY : May I hold your hand?
>GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a
> ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
> kiss??
> TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
> cigarette out of his
> mouth.
>
> MAN : You remind me of the sea.
> WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
> WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
> and comes out of
> the other.
> HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in
> both ears and comes
> out of the mouth.
>
> MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What
> do u think,
> Peter?
> PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
> no one else ?"
> Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list
> again yesterday".
>
> Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
> or the moon?"
> Pupil : "The moon".
> Teacher : "Why?"
> Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we
> need it but the sun
> gives us light only in the day time when we don't
> need it".
>
> Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
> talking when
> people are no longer interested?"
> Pupil : "A teacher".
>
> Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
> Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>
> My father is so old that when he was in school,
> history was called
> current affairs.
>
> Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
> Sam : "It's a family tradition".
> Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my
> father is a teacher".
> Teacher : "What about your mother?"
> Sam : "She's a woman".
>
> Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
> that I've
> failed?"
> David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
> past year's
> performance repeated".
>
> Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating
> a donkey and
> stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
> Student : "Brotherly love".
>
> Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
> prayers before
> eating?"
> Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
> cook".
>
> Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
> doctor?"
> Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
> that nine out of
> ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the
> tenth case I've
> treated. The others all died".
>
> Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
> COINCIDENCE?"
> One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
> on the same day
> and at the same time."
SMART ANSWERS TO STUPID QUESTIONS:
>
> BOY : May I hold your hand?
>GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a
> ring??
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
> SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
> kiss??
> TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
> cigarette out of his
> mouth.
>
> MAN : You remind me of the sea.
> WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
> WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
> and comes out of
> the other.
> HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in
> both ears and comes
> out of the mouth.
>
> MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What
> do u think,
> Peter?
> PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
> no one else ?"
> Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list
> again yesterday".
>
> Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
> or the moon?"
> Pupil : "The moon".
> Teacher : "Why?"
> Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we
> need it but the sun
> gives us light only in the day time when we don't
> need it".
>
> Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
> talking when
> people are no longer interested?"
> Pupil : "A teacher".
>
> Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
> Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>
> My father is so old that when he was in school,
> history was called
> current affairs.
>
> Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
> Sam : "It's a family tradition".
> Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my
> father is a teacher".
> Teacher : "What about your mother?"
> Sam : "She's a woman".
>
> Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
> that I've
> failed?"
> David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
> past year's
> performance repeated".
>
> Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating
> a donkey and
> stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
> Student : "Brotherly love".
>
> Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
> prayers before
> eating?"
> Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
> cook".
>
> Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
> doctor?"
> Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
> that nine out of
> ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the
> tenth case I've
> treated. The others all died".
>
> Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
> COINCIDENCE?"
> One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
> on the same day
> and at the same time."
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