Attorney and witness

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
>> down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of
>> staying calm and quiet while these exchanges were actually taking>place.
>>
>> ATTORNEY : When is your birthday?
>> WITNESS : July 18th.
>> ATTORNEY : What year?
>> WITNESS : Every year.
>> ____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
>> _____________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > WITNESS : Yes.
> > ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > WITNESS : I forget.
> > ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
>forgot?
> > ___________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > WITNESS : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > ATTORNEY : How lo ng has he lived with you?
> > WITNESS : Forty-five years.
> > _____________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Are you sexually active?
> > WITNESS : No, I just lie there.
> > _____________________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that
>morning?
> > WITNESS : He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you?
> > WITNESS : My name is Susan.
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
>voodoo?
> > WITNESS : We both do.
> > ATTORNEY : Voodoo?
> > WITNESS : We do.
> > ATTORNEY : You do?
> > WITNESS : Yes, voodoo.
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
> > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> > WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> > ___________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
> > WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one.
> > ________________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?
> > WITNESS : Would you repeat the question?
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
> > WITNESS : Yes.
> > ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time?
> > WITNESS : Uh....
> > _____________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?
> > WITNESS : Yes.
> > ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
> > WITNESS : None.
> > ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?
> > WITNESS : By death.
> > ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
> > WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
> > deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
> > WITNESS : No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
> > dead people?
> > WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
>go to?
> > WITNESS : Oral.
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
> > ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> > WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
>an
> > autopsy on him!
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > ATTORNEY : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > WITNESS : Huh?
> > ______________________________________
> >
> > As for the last!!!
> > ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performe d the autopsy, did you check
>for
> > a pulse?
> > WITNESS : No.
> > ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?
> > WITNESS : No.
> > ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?
> > WITNESS : No.
> > ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
>you
> > began the autopsy?
> > WITNESS : No.
> > ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> > WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
> > practicing law!